grief

a faster teacher than joy

Grief…an atrocious being, one that drops you to depths that you couldn’t imagine, an abyss of uncertainty and being lost all in the name of “keeping us grounded“. I never really understood how grief could teach us anything if we were never willing to learn in the first place. It’s possible that vulnerability leaves us open to learning more about the situation we’re in unconsciously—everything so vivid yet blurry. I guess that’s the very essence of grief.

Recently, I was a part of a community that endured a very heavy loss. It was unexpected, uncalled for and inexplicable—in the worst way possible. Sometimes we’re told in these moments, the best thing to do is feel your emotions to get over them—the irony is that we want to hold on to them at the same time. In other cases, we’re told to be practical, unattached and detach ourselves from the emotional charge of the moment.

If I’m being honest, I don’t really know the right way to deal with this grief thing. My whole life, I’ve been good at finding solutions to problems…but no solution seems to fit this situation—I guess if a problem doesn’t have a solution, it’s probably not even a problem in the first place. It’s easy to say that perspective matters, but it’s hard to change it, when we’re in the shock of something.

Oh grief, why must this pain—so belligerent and ruthless rule the entity that pulses within me—one that makes me feel alive yet not enough simultaneously. I guess the point I’m trying to make is: what if we treated grief like a person. Give it some warmth, welcome it, embrace it and talk to it. I guess maybe then the world would be a better place—or maybe it would just make “our world“ a better place.

I learnt over time that if we made our mind a safe place to exist, we’d be more accepting of ourselves. That doesn’t really account for grief though—what matters though is that if we are honest about our grief, we are truthful to ourselves. That counts as contributing to making your mind a safer place. Every teen, youth individual, elder reading this needs to know that there is no right way to “deal“ with grief—it’s not a burden, rather a blessing.

❤️You matter.

❤️Your feelings are valid.

❤️You have a purpose in this world that is meaningful.

❤️You are loved and admired.

❤️You’ve got a friend in me :)